I have always had an affinity for mobile homes. I can remember the day that I first heard the term mobile home. I was probably about 6. One of my mother’s friends had just bought one. I don’t remember her exact description but the energy was that it was a lesser being than a house. I also remember that the explanation included the fact that it had wheels on it (also a “lesser” vibe) . I couldn’t wait to see it. When we visited I thought it looked just like a house and then I found out that the wheels  were going to be taken off and the mobile home would not be mobile. Devastating news for me. 

Lived in a campground in Florida in a stationary trailer.

Moved to SC with a 17 foot trailer (model and details) I have wanted some kind of mobile home for as long as I can remember. In the summer of 1996 I got a 17 foot trailer (do model make, etc) and moved

Had a couple of shitty trailers, 5th wheel and motor home that never left the driveway. 

Finally… in 





Hi, Bunni. Can Ethan use a trailer with a boat on it?



Feb 18 – We talked to Ethan. He’s going to be back in a week and as soon as he is he will go get the boat, trailer and camper so let me know if there is any issue that needs to be dealt with for the camper 


I am sure there’s got to be a title for someplace because Ed got South Carolina tags for it

You sent

Hi Suz! Ethan got all the stuff from Ed’s yard. He also got the title for the RV but Ed doesn’t know anything about a title for the boat. Do you? Thanks a bunch!!

Finally in September I registered and insured it.


It could not go on the road legally until it had new tail lights and this took months to get someone to do. Here’s where I started to screw up. I had fear. With a dream come true it was hard to face the idea that 1) I wasn’t really sure I could drive it and 2) It didn’t need a huge amount of work but it needed more than I knew how to deal with on a low budget. It’s not easy anymore to get things moved or fixed for a case of beer.


I drove it briefly and was surprised at how easy it was. Still a little nerve wracking but not nearly as big an issue as I had been concerned about.


Still it sat. A couple of people had promised to work on it but couldn’t get around to it. I knew quite a bit about RVs but not quite as much as I needed.


3/26 Brought RV home from Compton. Ken helped me clean off windows and adjust mirrors. I drove to the store and maybe somewhere else.


3/27 I drove around with Wade. We filled the tank, bought wipers,


3/30? Drove Goodwill, Vicki’s. Took Vicki and Ed for a ride.


3/31 Drove to Dr in N. Myrtle Beach


What day did I drive to Ethan’s house?

One day I didn’t drive at all. I think that was 4/1

4/2 Drove to Goddess Third Chakra event at McClean Park 28 miles plus another few going the wrong way!


4/3 Drove to Sonya’s to meet puppy and talked to her neighbor about my “house battery”. Then went to AutoZone and bought the battery. Drove to Goodwill and scored some good dyeables plus some other odds and ends. Tried to find someone to install the battery but had no luck. Kevin will be here Tuesday and can do it.


4/7 How could so many days have passed? Since last post I have hit a post in a parking lot and opened a corner of my rig to weather and bullshit. Needs fixing soon. I also scraped the paint off a parked car. That was more involved.. Police report, insurance reports and bullshit.  Returned the battery I bought the next day got a better one ($200) and haven’t been able to get it installed. Kevin couldn’t do it. (not as in couldn’t be available but as in didn’t know how) Even when I did reach Justin and he came over he could not get it right. Texted Kirk but didn’t see his return text early enough. He says earliest he could do it is Friday. I’m going to try to talk to him in the AM and if he can do it Friday I’ll cancel my “Bend Over” Camping World tomorrow. (They charge $145 an hour and think this should take 30 – 60 minutes.

4/12  Never heard from Kirk. I’d really like to have him work on it but I’m clearly not a priority. I’m moving on  and looking for someone else.

Talked to Johnnie Chiaramella and had a great chat. I was wondering what it would take to have a solar panel just to keep the house battery charged. He says he “might” be coming through this way in May and – if I’m willing to drive to Charleston, which I am – he can get me a great deal on the solar panel. Says he could do the whole thing for under $400. That would be awesome and totally

The God Molecule & Me

5-MeO-DMT aka Bufo Toad Medicine is also known as the God or Spirit molecule.

This is an attempt to describe an indescribable experience, one that happened on a different level than language does so it will not be precise,

This was done in ceremony with a very serious and experienced shaman. It was not “recreational”.  My goal was (as always) to see God. (Please realize that my definition of God does not include any personified entity who rules the universe. My definition of God is the stuff the universe is made of and includes all of us. That’s what I thought last week. What I know now is that this is true but what I saw of it before was just a hint, just an arrow to a hint to a clue. Oh my god. I had no idea.

I am not going to go into all the ritual details, though set and setting which is always important was perfect. I was instructed how to inhale and hold in the smoke to the count of 10 while reclining from a sitting position.

Before I hit 10 and as I hit the pillow the bottom dropped out of the world. There was no “under me” or above me”. I did not see the people with me. I saw , first a crystalline shaped structure which I realized later was not the shape I was seeing but the shape I was seeing through and moved into it at which point, I was there. There was no more shape or external environment. There was no house around me and there was no me. There was a stageringly huge expanse of universe (?). There was beauty and color and organic motion. There was no me and it. We were all. The magnitude of it was completely overwhelming. It was inside of me and outside of me. There was a tonal sound as loud as sound can be in the silence. There was the sensation of fast, speeding motion during total stillness and going no place because there was no other place. All of time from the beginning to the end (neither of which probably exist) was happening now. Space had no meaning. IT, the all in all, was made of love. This is GOD and I am it as we alll are it as we all are each other. Total oneness.

I fully understood the notion of “wakening from the illusion of separateness” but not in thoughts, or word connected thoughts. There were none of those. There was wordless, thoughtless, loving consciousness. Everyone who had ever lived or would ever live was here. All of us “alive” now were here. Here was all there was. Here is all there is. The perfection of light and color and oneness. The complete absence of ego. The knowledge that to hurt you is to literally hurt me and that there is not anything to be hurt about anyway.

The earth plane happenings that we get so invested in are like grime on the window to God. For us as humans these cannot be disregarded completely. I don’t mean to dishonor anyone’s suffering. We do suffer as human beings but that is such a tiny part of who we are. All of our lost children, on either side of the veil, are fine and perfect. Nothing else is possible.

As thoughts began to come to me again I realized that I had to decide if I wanted to keep breathing or not. I had to remember to breathe while I decided. I knew with absolute certainty that I would be in the same place whether or not I continued to breathe and that it mattered not at all which decision I chose. “I think I want to keep breathing.” I said. “I’m not sure why and I know it doesn’t matter but I think I have more to do here”. The Shaman said to me “I can breathe for you if you need me to”. (Later I was told that this conversation did not happen in ear-hearable words. Nevertheless, it is what I said and heard”. The next point I felt a light breath on my face and a voice saying “breathe”. I did.

As I began to come back to earth all I could say was: “Oh. My. God. I had no idea.”  It was all I could say for quite a while.  Then I switched to “Holy Shit! What holy holy shit!”  All other thoughts were just laughable, like “What do you want to do for the rest of the day?” which I said and sent myself into hysterics. I recalled some lines from the Messiah’s Handbook in Illusions which said,

“Take your dying with some seriousness, however. Laughing on the way to your execution is not generally understood by less advanced life forms, and they’ll call you crazy.”

It was kind of difficult, in a pleasurable and ease filled way, to reintegrate. I went through the rest of the day as usual I think except that I knew it was just a sort of overlay on reality. I completely loved and appreciated the people around me. Everything was a little brighter than usual and I still feel like I must look like a light bulb and can’t imagine why people aren’t being blinded by it. Apparently I still look like me and why not? I was always the whole universe whether I knew it or not.

This may be edited or changed the next time you see it. I am still trying to squeeze it into the form of words which are so inadequate for it. I am still trying to assimilate it and I am still pissed if you cut me off in traffic, but only for a moment and knowing even then that it matters not at all.

Another quote was very relevant to my experience. It is the synopsis of the whole Course in Miracles:

“Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.” Herein lies the peace of God.”

I know this to be completely true today.

The main thing that I want people to know and that I want to remember is that we are all integrated parts of a perfect being and our parts have this human veneer.  The veneer can get pretty tricky and feel really serious and on the level it lives, it is but it lives, as I said, as a smudge on the window to God.

I always thought that Namaste’ meant that the Divine in me recognizes the Divine in you. Now I realize it means that I recognize what I am in you and what you are in me. We are the Divine we recognize.

For what it’s worth, and with all my love,



Being Bunni

Let me explain what it’s like to be me. A couple of months ago I decided to attempt to use up some old craft supplies to, you know, clear some space . I had a few odds and ends of dyes sitting around. The night that I was getting ready for my soap pals to come for the weekend was the night, as some of you will remember, almost exactly 2 months ago that I became compelled (if not possessed) to make tie dye aprons for the crew. I did that and was very happy with the results. It was a spiral pattern, easy to do even though I had not done tie dye in almost 20 years. However, because I had not done tie dye in so long there were some things I had to look up.

While I was looking them up I came upon some dyers doing mandalas and stars that are just fantastic. Keep in mind that a lot of my crafting was done pre-Internet when you had to buy a book, if one existed, and get one person’s opinion and have no one to ask questions. I decided I had to try these mandalas but I had used up most of the old dye. So I put in an order for new dye and a couple dozen flour sack towels to practice on.

While I was waiting on the dye order I remembered the Silhouette Cameo machine Joyce had given me. I had really not been sure what to do with it but it dawned on me that it would allow to to modify my car (as I had started to do a year or two ago) without having to be outside in the weather for most of the work. I started cutting out vinyl quotes and paisleys and flowers. This I had to do in the living room since other people had gotten interested in doing tie dye with me and my workshop – already full of soap and implements of soap making – was now full of flour sack towels, T-Shirts Ken ordered for me, dyes, jars of mixed dyes, squeeze bottles (that I had ordered 3 dozen of). I had barely enough room to make a 20 pound batch of soap before my mandala perfecting search on you tube somehow brought up a video of Victoria from Batikwalla. I was already quite familiar with Victoria. She does the most beautiful batik I have ever seen and it is exactly how I would do batik if I could do batik. I had failed at batik before (more than once) because I could never get all the wax out of the fabric. It was one of the most frustrating things I ever attempted and I think I ended up with two toss pillows (a little waxy) that took an enormous amount of frustration to make. I had been talking to Joyce (the silk painter) about doing batik with soy wax but what I read about the soy wax didn’t thrill me.

Victoria vlogs about life and about her batiks. Although in the videos you can see her working she really doesn’t do a lot of tutorial kinds of things. The video I happened upon was “How to remove beeswax from your batik – Handmade at home”

You gotta be shittin’ me.

Of course, I had everything in my house needed for batik. There was a little beeswax left and although I couldn’t find the old electric skillet (from candle making) in my shed I did have a crock pot that might work for melting the wax. I had paint brushes though I did not have a tjanting tool (a specialized tool used for drawing fine lines in batik that I had never been able to master before). I had plenty to get started.

Within a day it was clear that I would need a better electric melting element (skillet) and a tjanting tool and more beeswax and more paint brushes. I ordered those and made another 20 pound batch of soap before meeting up with Marlene in book group on Wednesday.

Marlene gave me more of her son’s ashes to make jewelry out of because I needed a couple more samples to put on the website that I had wanted to get up last week. I haven’t yet gotten to the samples, the website is not up.

I could barely make another 20 pound batch of soap in my workroom today because every surface is covered with cloth, frying pans, hanging projects half done but I did find that Victoria’s way to remove the wax works (I also found out a lot more about her and about batik watching her videos in my late night wanderings).

Right now my house is trashed, the Silhouette mess is in the living room. The batiks are on the stove. Melted beeswax is all over the counter. I am ready for a panic attack because it is so overwhelming. A soap order I should have had ready Friday is not ready. My workroom cannot be traversed by a full sized human. My car has a sprinkling of paisleys and quotes. People’s dead relatives are in my pocket book. But… THE WAX IS BOILED OUT OF THE BATIK.


Tie Dye attempts at stars and mandalas

First batiks finished. My colors did not contrast enough. Especially the apron, though I love the color the blue did not show through the green enough.

Jewelry made from cremated remains. Website I was trying to finish last week

5 loaf soap block with my beautiful new knife

Cut into loaves. Now they are bars curing on the baker’s rack.

Apron after first dye and second waxing.

Batik after first dye and second wax

Block of New Moon soap.

Cut into loaves.

Start of art on car.

Other side of car. I have about 100 more paisley’s and flowers to add..

Designs cut, layered and ready to go onto car.

The apron that started the dyeing thing up

My soap sisters in their aprons

Originally posted on April 8, 2017

Can you question the unquestionable?

When I was about 10 years old I walked into the lobby of a Methodist church, fearfully, rebelliously and excitedly, and waited. I physically braced myself as you do before a car crash. I stood perfectly still. Nothing happened. After a while I worked up the nerve to walk through the lobby into the sanctuary and stood there for a few minutes. Nothing  happened. Finally I breathed and checked the place out.

What I had been waiting for was the wrath of a God I didn’t totally believe in anymore but was still very conditioned to. I had been heavily imprinted with the idea that going into a non-Catholic church was sin and God would get me for it. I had expected something like being struck by lightening.

Another ten years passed and I found myself being pro-choice because it was “what I believed in”. (I have always been very passionate about my beliefs and I would fight over them with you, just like today’s useless FB fights over issues). Looking back I can see how I became pro-choice and it was not my own doing. The Spiritual Mentors of that time of my life were pro-choice and I can see now how I could have easily gone pro-life in different circumstances. (I’m sure that I would have come to a pro-choice stance eventually. Almost sure.)

I think that until we have questioned our values we don’t really have any. We have rules. Some of the rules are so ingrained that we call them values but until we have looked at all sides and owned a perspective for our own, we are only rule followers (or breakers) not people with values.

Being ourselves, knowing ourselves, becoming ourselves involves reviewing all of our conditioning and deciding how we personally feel about it. Creating unity with others involves the same thing. Religion, patriotism, family, we’ve all been scripted with notions about these things, how they are and how they must be. It is only when we can ask the questions “What does this mean? What is the opposing principle? What do I feel about this?” that we can truly own our own values and grow into Unity with others whose beliefs will look much more different in the beginning than they do afterwards. Only by knowing ourselves will we know others and by knowing others we will better know ourselves (and we will always find, if we look hard enough that we have more in common with “the other” than we are different from them). This also grows compassion and an appreciation for our humanity and our divinity.

If you can take your most solid belief and hold it a mile away, listen to someone else’s WRONG opinion about it as if it might be true, and consider that opinion and how you might have gotten to that place yourself (none of which you have to admit out loud), you have the power to change the world and to be comfortable with yourself because your values will truly be yours (and they will change some over time even after you have studied them). This is what being open is. This is what being loving entails. This is knowing yourself.

You’ll do a lot better than I did if you can bypass the stage where you hate the people and institutions who gave you the “wrong” information. I started on this path when I was too young to understand it and it took me a long time to get it right. Love has to be involved, or at least compassion and when you are most resistant and defensive… you’re looking at the right stuff. You’re going to LOVE how you turn out. (Your family and some friends… maybe not so much.)

Namaste’ my lovlies.