In Love With Love

It was probably in the Fall of 1972.  It was a beautiful day and I was riding around in a van, the van driver – who had a route to drive to pick people up at work or appointments, do errands – was a beautiful young man with long flowy hair with whom I was in a very new and wonderful relationship.  I had recently had a near death experience, causing my outlook and perspective to be far more expansive and grateful than normal. Also causing my heart  to be more spread on the wind than confined to the cramped space of the body.

We rode in silent appreciation.  As I write this, about 43 years later, I can feel the memory of sun shining on my face through the windshield. I was happy to be alive and breathing in every morsel of life.  I was in a moment of perfect peace and I was in love.

Into my mind came the thought that I needed to completely embrace and imprint my state of being on my soul for future Resurrection.  I knew at that moment that the overwhelming sense of love and well being I was experiencing was independent of the man I thought was causing the experience.  I knew that I needed to save and memorize and incorporate that feeling so that I could summon it in the future, when he was gone. And I knew also in that moment, that he would be gone. Soon.  I might have been heartbroken but the love I felt was too infilling for the chasm to be felt.  My revelation made every intake of breath an exercise in overwhelming love and every exhale an infinite flow of gratitude.

A very short time later my love’s ex confronted me to tell me that she was pregnant and that she wanted him in her life and her baby’s life.  Essentially, she enlisted me.  When he came back, I sent him to her.  I helped free him to go to her which he did… sadly and happily.

It is very hard to put into words the way I felt.  The “high road” is a very high road.  I was in one of the highest states I have ever been in and what’s more I knew it was a state to be called upon in the future. I knew my revelation about love had been the gift of this relationship and no relationship – of any duration – has taught me a bigger lesson about love. It was a state of perfect understanding.

Back on the earth plane, it was an odd feeling. I had acted with perfect love and the natural reaction to that seemed to be to share that love with someone else.. but he was not there and so there was a gap – but a still full one – where I began to learn how to feel that love without an object for it.  It is difficult to know how to express love like that – we have love so confused with people that it takes some new learning to feel it as one.  To express it as one. To one. With one.  And with the allness of one.

Although I have been involved in subsequent relationships and have a wonderful husband I know that the being in love does not require another person but it can encompass any other people and all other people and this is a love no one can take from us. It is a love for Humanity, Universe and Source. I think that human-to-human love is a small sample of the possibility of love with and from Source, the love that is all that’s left if you remove everything else. The love that the universe is made of, if you align with it. Of course, it’s no easy task. I haven’t perfected in in these 43 years but that benchmark that I was given, that reference point that I can go back to when I’m my best self, that’s the stuff to live for and I do manage to experience it – for at least a brief visit – almost every day.

Be still and know that you are loved. Be still and know that you are love. Be still, my love. We are one.

Namaste’